Thursday, January 25, 2018

Why I Stopped Blogging

I have always loved writing. When I was younger, I used to dream about becoming a published author. Does this blog count? ;) After I stopped teaching three years ago (I can't believe it's already been three years!) I decided to start this blog as a way to explore some of my other passions: decorating, cooking, fashion, travel, and of course, writing.

I enjoyed producing content, but always felt embarrassed and uncomfortable about sharing it with anyone. There are so many amazing influencers (blogs and on Instagram) that I follow, and they make it look so easy. It comes naturally to them. Not for me. I guess I lack the self-confidence it takes to be able to put myself out there and say, "Come follow me! Look at how awesome I am! If you buy this you'll be awesome too!" That's not to say that any of the influencers that I follow are doing that. Every one of them seems real, not like they're just putting on a show to get you to go out and spend money. However, with that being said, it's hard to be an influencer and make money (it is a job) without looking like you're telling people to "buy all the things." It's hard to follow someone's blog or Instagram and see them sharing cute new clothes or decor all the time and not start to think you need to buy the clothes or decor too. I have a closet full of clothes that I really didn't need because I was sucked into believing I needed "all the things." But again, that's not the influencer's fault, it's mine for feeling like I needed to spend money to be happy/better.

I never planned on making my blog a career. It's not. I've never made money off of this blog (if you clicked a link I shared I would get 5 cents put into an account, but you only ever get paid once you hit a certain level and I never got there), and I'm totally fine with that. I did receive those PopSugar Must Have boxes for free in exchange for a review (it didn't have to be on the blog, just social media). In all honesty, I loved the boxes that I received, and still use many of the items that were included, but I haven't ever purchased a box, so it was disingenuous of me to tell you to go out and buy one. With that being said, if I hadn't received so many boxes free I may have tried it just once for fun. I have tried Birchbox and Stitch Fix and it was always fun opening "happy mail," but the point is that you didn't need it, so it wasn't fair of me to show it to you and say "Here's this offer code. Go spend money!" I don't want to be that person that tells you that you need to completely revamp your wardrobe or decorate your house to be enough. You don't. You are beautiful and your house is a home. And that's enough.

I do want to continue writing, but I don't really know what to write about. That's one of the big reasons I stopped blogging - I didn't want to always be sharing new things for you to go buy, but I didn't know what to write about if it wasn't that. And again, I don't necessarily feel 100% comfortable putting myself out there. I definitely have some insecurities I need to work on, and I need to stop looking at other bloggers and Instagrammers and comparing myself to them. I am enough. I think I actually wrote a blog post awhile back with that title. I guess I should probably go back and read it and see if what I said then can finally sink in. Read it. Definitely need to take what I said to heart.

If there is something that you would like to see on this blog, please share! I've got plenty of time, so if you want book reviews, vacation itineraries (I'm currently researching and planning for our trip to Park City in March, but I'd be happy to do some research on your vacation for you - it's seriously #sofun to research and plan out a vacation - even if I'm not the one taking it ;), meals, closet staples, etc. I want to write, but I really don't know what to write, so if you want to hear from me, please share your ideas/requests! I don't know, maybe I'll just use this as a journal, though journals are usually meant to be private. I don't know. I'm still trying to find my purpose (my #oneword for the year).